Fantasy Advent Day 23: 3 ways to be less Dursleyish

It's dangerous to judge a group as a whole, but J.K. Rowling pulled no punches when it came to the Dursley family in Harry Potter. They were written as cartoonishly bad, whether locking a schoolboy in a cupboard for the crime of being present during something uncanny or advocating for the death penalty when they see someone inconveniencing their kind. Of course, there were good moments on occasion (I'll always be fond of "The Dursleys Departing" in Book 7), but let's look at ways we can be the opposite of the stereotypical muggle bigots. There are three, one for each of the Dursleys.

1. Recognize what each person needs

Aunt Marge stands out as the worst offender in a short instance but has a history of ostentatiously favoring one person over another. Harry recalls getting a box of dog biscuits the year that Dudley got a computer game.

Similarly, Aunt Petunia gives Harry Dudley's comically large old clothes instead of investing in ones that fit him. Uncle Vernon gives Harry more living space, but it's crowded with Dudley's cast-of things. The thing that shows him being cared for the most is his pair of glasses, which shows that they at least take care of his need to see things in the world.

Be less Dursleyish by seeing what people truly need instead of what checks something off a list.

2. Have a lifestyle, not a series of choices

I'm going to try to say this without fat-shaming. Merlin knows I'm not the poster child for health and fitness. But we see the Dursleys making short-term efforts to force change instead of committing to something that will have lasting results. There is a great book called Atomic Habits by James Clear that emphasizes how "small, incremental changes can have a significant impact over time."

We don't know how long it took Dudley to go from the resentful boy who stole his father's grapefruit to the muscular boxing champion, but he took it upon himself to make a lifestyle through habits between 1994 and 1995. We wish it didn't empower him to more effectively terrorize kids in the neighborhood.

Be less Dursleyish by changing your bad habits one small step at a time.

3. Be quick to recognize the good in people.

"I don't think you're a waste of space" isn't exactly a love letter, but it was one of the most startling things said in Harry Potter and the Deathly Hallows. It shouldn't have come as a shcok to find that Dudley had a streak of gratitude in him after all.

The thing is, he was raised to not give people positive attention without expecting something in return. We can see this in the dinner with the Masons in the second book and his affection towards Aunt Marge in the third. When he practically says "I love you" to Harry, he's not looking for a reward or recognition and that's something that should have happened before.

Be less Dursleyish and value people as soon as you see their value.